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tv   Late Night With Jimmy Fallon  NBC  October 13, 2011 12:35am-1:35am EDT

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[ cheers and applause ]
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>> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center, the national broadcasting company presents -- tonight's guests are -- and featuring the legendary roots crew. and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac --
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you very, very much. oh, thank you so much. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. thank you so much. welcome. welcome to the show. [ cheers ] appreciate it. we're gonna have a good show. hey, did you guys see this? yesterday president obama had beer with four unemployed construction workers. [ laughter ] yeah. he did. and obama asked the guys, what was it like to lose their jobs? they were like, "oh, you'll see." [ laughter and applause ] that's right. president obama had beers with four unemployed workers. when the check came, obama was like, "so, do you guys went to split this five ways? credit card roulette?"
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get this, i heard that teenagers are now eating gummy bears that have been soaked in vodka for three days. [ cheers ] you could tell because the gummy bears are like, "dude, don't say anything, i just totally made out with a swedish fish." yeah! [ applause ] did you see this? angelina jolie apparently made a secret trip to libya yesterday. which explains her newest adopted kid, moammar gadhafi pitt jolie. [ light laughter ] [ scattered applause ] you guys, i read that starbucks is teaming up with a company called tata coffee to open hundreds of new stores. although it's going to be awkward going, "hey, can i get a couple of grande tata's with milk?" [ laughter and applause ] -- thanks a lot.
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grande tata's with milk. this is crazy. last week a group of elderly people accidentally -- accidentally, ate pot brownies that were left out at a funeral. you could tell the old people had the munchies because they ate like ten bags of werthers originals. [ laughter and applause ] it was weird. hey, this is pretty cool. i heard that the game dungeons and dragons is coming to facebook. which means, for the first time ever, dungeons and dragons players will have the chance to get poked. [ laughter ] that's what i heard on the radio. i don't know if you guys saw this. during the republican debate last night, michele bachmann said that she has 28 children. five of her own and 23 foster kids. it's all part of her new election strategy, adopting a majority of voters. [ light laughter ] and finally, one of the women involved in the anthony weiner scandal is planning to write a
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tell-all book about the messages he sent her. and not surprisingly, it's a pop-up book. [ laughter ] we have a great show tonight, you guys. give it up for the roots! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we've got an amazing show tonight. he is a great actor and a really fun guy. from "the good wife," alan cumming is here! [ cheers and applause ] also, he's an olympic legend. he's here to show us his new video game "push the limit." michael phelps is in the house! [ cheers and applause ] plus, chavez will be performing for us tonight. [ cheers and applause ] we've got some good music. chavez, there was also a character horatio sanz used to play on "saturday night live." he played a character who was never on the show. he used to do this character called lucky chavez. and he used to wear these
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sunglasses that had these laser eyes in them. so, when he pressed the button, his eyes would blink. i don't know why he was called lucky chavez. but, anyways, me and tina fey would be doing "weekend update" and lucky chavez, horatio, with these glasses would come by and tina would tell a joke and he's blink his glasses like -- [ laughter ] and then i would tell a joke and he'd just lay on them. [ laughter ] just lay on the horn, not laugh at all. gosh, i love that guy. hey guys, it's time for "late night hash tags!" here we go! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ hash tags, hash tags hash tags, hash tags hash tags ♪ >> jimmy: these are lists on twitter where we give you the topic and you send in the tweets. so yesterday, i went on twitter and i started a hash tag called, "yeah, i did that." and i asked you guys a the home to tweet something funny, embarrassing, or crazy that you once did. we got thousands of tweets. in fact, within a half hour it was a worldwide trending topic which is huge. so thank you so much for those
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tweets. [ cheers and applause ] really big. kind of fun that we do that. so, now, i thought i'd share some of my favorite "yeah, i did that" tweets from you guys. here we go. the first tweet is from jacoblucas. he says, "put my 4-year-old brother in a diaper so i didn't have to pay for his movie ticket." [ audience ohs ] [ light laughter ] there you go. also don't have to take him to the bathroom either. he just sits there and enjoys the fun. this one's from @richg. he says, "i sat on the guy in the subway because i was too busy play angry birds." [ laughter ] oops, sorry, didn't mean so sit on your angry bird. [ laughter ] this one's from @beakfreak3. he says, "in fifth grade did a book report on my favorite chicago bull, realized the whole time i was calling him michael jortman." [ laughter ] he's my favorite, i love michael jortman. [ in announcer voice ] there's a pass over to scottie pippen over to michael jortman, yes!
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you get the new air jortmans? [ laughter ] no, they don't excess. this one's from @realpetedimato. he says, "accidentally bought a woman's shirt from the gap and my female teacher and i wore it on the same day." [ laughter ] dude, did you go shopping with mrs. samuel? [ light laughter ] that is so embarrassing, i love that. this one's from @marthacourier. she says, "i tripped up the steps in traffic court. everyone laughed and the judge had to bang his gavel." order in the court! order in the court! stop laughing. i know it's funny that she fell, but still. that's super embarrassing. this is from @2future2soulmate. she says, "one time in a crowded nightclub i bumped into a mirror wall and said angrily, excuse
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me! to my own reflection." thanks. you look like an idiot! stop doing what i'm doing! this one's -- this next one's from @alexanderatheokay. he says, "i rocked the one overall strap on shoulder no shirt look in high school. teacher took me aside and said, 'you're only hurting yourself here.'" [ laughter ] not a good look on anyone. this last one is from @shazibabi. she says, "i rubbed my best friend's dad's leg under the table with my leg thinking it was her puppy." [ laughter ] i like that friend of yours, you've got to bring her back, she's got a great personality. [ cheers and applause ] there you have it! those are tonights "late night hash tags." to check out more of our favorites go to we'll be right back with more "late night," everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ hey ladies. enjoying the film?
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody, welcome back. welcome back. as you guys know, last night the republican candidates held their eighth debate in new hampshire. and of course after every debate, these guys get criticized. well, the front-runners have been putting out commercials. they're all over tv and the internet. this first one we have is from mitt romney. he's been polling in first place. but a lot of his critics say that he's a flip-flopper. like he says one thing and then says the exact opposite. i don't know if that's true but here he is in his own words. take a look at this. >> hello, i'm mitt romney. [ light laughter ] no, i'm not. and i'm ready to fight for america.
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nuh-uh. [ light laughter ] i have a job plan to help deal with our nation's soaring unemployment and this plan will bring jobs back to our country. that jobs plan won't work. [ light laughter ] i'm a patriot and i love the red, white and blue. i also love the colors orange and purple. [ light laughter ] of course, magenta's the best. send me to washington so we can finally put regular, hard-working people above these greedy corporations. corporations are people. i'm mitt romney. and i approve this message. no, i don't. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: the guy's got a point. or maybe he doesn't. now, rick perry, the governor of texas, you guys know who he is, right? yes? yeah. [ laughter ] yeah, he had that corn dog thing happen. that was a big deal. well, he was in first place a couple of weeks ago. he was on the cover of "newsweek." and everyone thought that he was
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going to run away with everything. but now, after a few debates, he's down to third place, behind mitt romney and herman cain. i think it's all really getting to him. take a look at this. >> hello. i'm rick perry. and as a former front-runner, i have one question for our great, great country. how did i screw this up? no, no, seriously? y'all used to love me, now i'm polling behind mitt and -- and the pizza guy? what, what happened? i'm asking you, what, what do i need to do to make y'all like me again? i'll get better in the debates. i'll smile more. i'll like the things y'all like. i'll like, uh -- rihanna. i'll go see "puss in boots 3d." i'll wear the glasses. am i supposed to say "don't mess with texas"? or mess with it -- whatever you want. whatever y'all want. you can mess or not mess. texas gets messed up and get messed, messed. i don't care, i need y'all back. i'll go on "dr. oz" and get a
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prostate exam. [ laughter ] i'll learn how to dougie. teach me how to dougie, america. what was it? was it the corn dog thing? [ laughter ] was it that thing? i don't even want to eat corn dog -- i don't care. i'll eat whatever y'all like. i'll have chips ahoy or lunchables or whatever. i'm rick perry. and are you breaking up with me? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's right. he just wants to know where he stands. and next up, we have an ad from michele bachmann. [ laughter ] the congresswoman from minnesota. she's a tea party favorite and she was also on the cover of "newsweek." look at this. yeah. i think it's a nice picture. [ light laughter ] but i guess it didn't help her campaign is running out of money and people say she doesn't know what she's talking about.
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decide for yourself. >> hi. i'm michele bachmann. and i want to be your president. as a member of the congressional intelligence committee, i know a lot of scary stuff most americans don't know. i know for a fact that china's using lasers to blind our satellites and melt the north pole. [ light laughter ] i know that thunder is the sound of god bowling with the angels. i know that in every city in america, there's one fire hydrant that's filled with cool whip and if you find it, then oh happy day, a dollop of cool whip for all. [ laughter ] obamacare spelled backwards is eracamabo, which is an old apache indian term meaning "evil voodoo medicine." [ light laughter ] i know that there's a lizard king who dwells at the center of the earth and controls the weather with his mind. [ light laughter ] i know that the only way to save the economy is to print a
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bajillion dollar bill, then go to a target and buy a pack of gum, and then they have to give you all that change. [ light laughter ] lastly, i'm ready to stand toe to toe with china and not blink. i never blink. i haven't blinked since 2004. [ light laughter ] i'm michele bachmann and i really can't afford this message. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: well, the biggest story last night was herman cain. you guys know him. he's the former ceo of godfather's pizza. he came from behind and now he's in second place, behind mitt romney. and at last night's debate, they spent a lot of time talking about his 9-9-9 tax plan. he really loves that plan. you can tell by his ad. just check out herman cain. >> hello. i'm herman cain. former ceo of godfather's pizza. recently, i unveiled a bold new
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tax plan called the 9-9-9 plan. that's 9 % corporate tax, 9 % income tax, and 9 % sales tax. it's simple as that. 9-9-9. ♪ 9-9-9 not quite 10 it's the tax plan for america courtesy herman cain ♪ ♪ the black republican ♪ 9-9-9 is also the cost of a regular pizza with a coke ♪ ♪ eat it here or take it to go 9-9-9
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pizza♪ [ cheers and applause ] i'm herman cain and can you believe i got this far? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i think those commercials are really going to clear things up. we'll be right back, everybody, with more "late night." come on back! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] all
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why did you buy my husband a falcon? thanks for the falcon. i didn't buy anyone a falcon. sure, you did. you saved us a lot of money on auto insurance. i used that money to buy a falcon. ergo, you bought me a falcon. i should've got a falcon. most people who switch to state farm save on average about $480. what they do with it, well, that's their business. oh, that explains a lot, actually. [ chuckles ] [ male announcer ] another reason people switch to state farm. aw, i could've gotten a falcon. [ male announcer ] get to a better state. [ falcon screeches ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our first guest is an award-winning star of stage and screen and a two-time emmy nominee for his work on the hit cbs show "the good wife." please welcome back to the show alan cumming! ♪ he's coming he's coming he's coming ♪ ♪ he's coming he's coming he's coming ♪ ♪ he's coming he's coming he's coming ♪
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♪ he's coming he's coming he's coming ♪ ♪ he's here! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i love it. nice to see you again. alan cumming, thank you for coming back to our program. >> it's a pleasure. >> jimmy: i always love seeing you, it's always so much fun. >> that's nice jimmy. >> jimmy: last time you that were here, i saw you was before the summer, how was your summer? >> oh, it was great. i had a nice time. i went on some holidays. i went to marrakech. on my holiday. >> jimmy: where is marrakech? >> marrakech in morocco. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and it was kind of -- it was a great holiday except two bad things happened. one, the second day that we were there -- we went to -- well on the first night we arrived we went to the cafe argana, it's on the main square and had some dinner. and if the food had been better, we might have gone back the next day and we'd have been bombed by al qaeda. [ audience groans ] they bombed, they bombed -- i know. it's not funny at all. but they bombed -- >> jimmy: are you serious? the place where you just had -- >> we had our dinner and then, the next lunchtime, it was bombed. [ audience groans ] yes, that was a bit of a damp start.
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>> jimmy: yeah, i would say so. oh my gosh! >> and -- if it hadn't been so bland, we would have gone -- thank goodness for bad food sometimes. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: oh my god, you don't even think about that. yeah, yeah, yeah, but -- it's almost scary. >> it was -- it was quite scary. and then -- and then towards the end of the holiday, a few days later, osama bin laden got, you know -- was killed. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and so -- and they had this thing -- an announcement on the internet and things that said, for people who are in, you know, the middle east and muslim countries, please try and maintain a low profile. and i was like, "how do you do that?" unless you've got, like, a burqa in your backpack? [ light laughter ] i mean how do you, when you are in a country where -- >> jimmy: disguise quickly. >> yeah, you don't look like anybody else. and it wasn't a very busy season there, so we were -- we looked like, you know, the whiteys. [ laughter ] white scottish people running around, like, "i'm not from here." >> i know, you may have noticed. don't let this burqa fool you. i thought that was such a weird -- >> jimmy: -- more perspective, yeah. >> yes, it was.
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puts things in perspective. but i still maintained the shallow outlook on life i always have. >> jimmy: oh, please. oh, please. like what? >> no, really, i do. like on, like on planes. you know, like when i saw you at the emmys and when you come back from the emmys and things, there's always other famous people on the planes 'cause everyone's going back and forth. and i always -- when i'm on a plane with another famous person, i always think, if this went down what billing would i get? >> jimmy: oh, my -- [ laughter ] that really is shallow. >> isn't that awful? >> jimmy: that really is. yeah. well, who was on your plane? >> well, one time -- one time i was on a plane with alec baldwin. >> jimmy: oh, boy. >> and marla maples, you know, who used to be married to donald trump. and i thought, "i bet i would get third." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's a sick thought. >> isn't that awful? and then -- but there's another time when i -- on a plane, i felt that something was going to happen. and i remember the person clutching me. and they were famous too. and i thought, "don't clutch me, don't be found clutching me when you -- we get --" [ laughter ]
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>> jimmy: 'cause you weren't that famous? [ laughter ] >> and then -- and i always feel bad for, you know -- this is terrible. this is terrible. you know farrah fawcett died on the same day as michael jackson. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i thought that was awful. because i thought, "note to self, always die on a day when someone more famous than you is still alive." you know what i mean? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: but you don't have -- i don't know if you have the choice, alan. >> i know, you don't. but if you feel the end is nigh, you know, cling on. i just -- i felt so bad for farrah fawcett. >> jimmy: yeah. now, you -- you look good. did you, is this your -- you stopped drinking. you got off the booze? you're still on the wagon? >> oh, i'm back on again but i -- >> jimmy: oh, good for you. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] good for you. i got my stories mixed up. you're back on. >> if you'd seen me last night, you'd know. >> jimmy: what happened to you? what -- yeah, what made you get back -- >> i just decided to -- well, i just took six months off. and i was going to -- you know, it's that sort of thing when you do it, you think, "this is fine." you know, you read more. you get more things done. and then, i was going on -- [ laughter ] i was going on --
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>> jimmy: -- read more. so, you just go to bars and just take out your kindle and just sit there and go -- [ laughter ] >> well you're not like, you know -- of an evening, you're not smashed, so you can actually focus on things. and so i find myself being more productive. but i -- but then i was taking my mum on a cruise across the atlantic and i thought, i cannot spend a week with my mum without alcohol involved. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, yeah, yeah, i got you. i got you. absolutely, yeah, yeah. >> so i went back on the hooch. and, um -- and also, you know, she's scottish. she likes to drink. she would've felt -- she actually said so me, "i would feel bad if we spent all that time and you weren't --" so, it was out of duty to my mother that i went back on the booze. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: but yeah, that's very -- of course, of course it was. yeah. how long was the cruise? >> a week. 'cause you leave southampton and arrive in new york. southampton. someone said, "southampton in the hamptons? it takes a week?" and then, hello! [ light laughter ] no, southampton in england. and then, you -- and it's -- you know, there's no stops, obviously, 'cause you're in the atlantic. so, it's a long time. >> jimmy: spending a whole week, yeah, a whole week with your mom. i'm surprised you didn't get into drugs. are you sure this is -- are you sure everything -- >> if there had been any
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available, i'll tell you, i would have. [ laughter ] but what was funny, my mom came up to my cabin one day and she went, "you'll never guess who's on this boat." i went, "who?" she went, "larry king." i was like, "larry king? the american talk show man?" she goes, "yes." and i went "does he have suspenders on? is he a bit a bit craggly and crinky?" and she was like, "no." and i went, "oh," i thought maybe, you know, he's, you know, incognito, without the suspenders, 'cause he's on a -- on a boat. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: what do you think he wears when he's -- he has to wear suspenders. >> i think -- even if he wore, like, sweatpants, he'd still has suspenders on -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and if he goes swimming in the pool, he's just -- swim trunks and -- [ laughter ] [ as larry king ] "cannonball! you're on the air!" >> that's a visual that i'm going to not be able to rid myself of for sometime. >> jimmy: yeah, that's a dream. that's a dream for you. >> larry king in speedos. [ laughter ] so -- >> jimmy: i wasn't picturing speedos but, yeah. >> i was, i was. >> jimmy: you were, yeah. good for you. >> so anyway, one day, a couple days later, we were watching a play in the --
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'cause they have, like, a theater and everything, it was great. >> jimmy: cruise ships are these giant things, right? >> yeah, it's massive. and it's a really posh one, the queen mary too. and so, so we're sitting there in the theater. and my mum goes, "there he is, there's larry king." and i went, "mom, number one, he's not deaf. use your inside voice." 'cause, you know -- [ laughter ] people do this thing -- >> jimmy: yeah, especially moms. moms don't care. like -- >> my mom is like, "there's larry king! there he is, larry!" yeah, yeah. >> celebrities are not deaf. we can hear you. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. >> and anyway. so, i said, "use your inside voice. and b, that's jerry springer." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh my gosh. >> so then i -- you know, 'cause you get invited to the captain's table and tours of the bridge. and, you know, 'cause famous people get to -- you know -- so i was -- ended up having all these drinks with jerry springer and having such a laugh with him. he's really nice. >> jimmy: and you found out that wasn't your real mother. [ laughter ]
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that would have been great. i was like, "whoops!" after the break. >> i never thought my mum would be, you know, like sitting there chatting with jerry springer. you notice these things happen. >> jimmy: i love it. isn't it fascinating how life -- >> i once saw my mom standing with tina turner and judi dench at this film i was -- i was in a film with judi dench and tina turner sang the song for it. and there's my mother. and they're probably about the same age. and it was just a weird -- this shouldn't be happening, you know? >> jimmy: yeah. it's super fascinating, right? but it's good that you bring your mom out and introduce her to things like that. >> oh yeah, she gets on with anyone, yeah. >> jimmy: i love that. i want to show a clip of "the good wife" and how good you are in this show. here's the great alan cumming, everybody. >> what did you say? what did you say? >> what are you talking about? i said exactly what you told me. >> i don't know enough but what else did these kids eat? you know what you do when you don't know enough? you shut the hell up. >> i didn't say that. >> with a garbage bag in your hand? what are you? chico and the man? >> no, that -- that was in the morning before i met you. the press was in front of my house.
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>> they're playing it like you just said it. >> they can't do that. >> oh, where did you live, fairy land? of course they can do that. >> okay, eli, what now? >> well, he's burned as a spokesman. you're going to have to get all the cheese off all the shelves in illinois. >> no, i don't think that's possible. >> he just blamed the victim. it just became possible. >> jimmy: yeah, come on. [ cheers and applause ] "the good wife" airs sundays at 9:00 p.m. sundays at 9:00 on cbs. alan cumming, everybody! michael phelps joins us next. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ jennifer ] here... this is my world. ♪ this place inspires me to be tougher... to stay sharper... to think faster. they may be just streets to you. but to me... they're a playground. ♪ ...loving you
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest this evening has won more olympic gold medals than any american athlete in history. he qualified for the 2000 summer olympics at the age of 15, and since then has set countless world records. has won 69 medals in international swimming competitions. he won 14 olympic gold medals in athens and beijing and we're sure he'll bring home more gold from the 2012 summer olympics in london. please welcome to the show a legendary american athlete, michael phelps! ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: michael phelps, thank you for coming to visit our program. >> no problem. >> jimmy: you're in new york for a little while, right? >> yeah. >> jimmy: you like it here in new york? do you go swimming in the -- in the east river? what do you -- [ light laughter ] >> well, actually, today is such a big day that my coach knew i was coming on -- and he gave me the day off. >> jimmy: really, are you -- >> just for you. >> jimmy: just to see me? >> just to come to you. >> jimmy: this is a mistake. [ laughter ] >> so, if i don't do well -- >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, no, no, you're going to do well. i just mean, but, uh, but gosh, i mean this is, uh, you should be in training, right? or you're always in training? >> no, i always am. and uh -- >> jimmy: you never take a day off? so this is your only day off? >> we take sundays off. >> jimmy: is that right? >> football day. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah. it is football day. yeah. but even then. i mean, you could just do something. you could just do this while you're sitting down.
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[ light laughter ] but when you're actually training for the olympics, i remember this thing, i know you probably talked about this a zillion times. but i just -- it boggles my mind. it's like, you have to eat 12,000 calories? >> thank you for still talking about that. >> jimmy: i know, i know, but it's a fascinating thing. >> it's not real though. >> jimmy: it's not real? >> no. >> jimmy: so it's fake? >> i've never eaten that much, ever. it's like impossible to eat that much. >> jimmy: wait, but why did you say this to people? >> i didn't say it. someone else said it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i didn't make it up. i mean, someone said it. >> it wasn't me. >> jimmy: well, what do you have for breakfast? don't you eat like ten bowls of oatmeal or something? >> another made-up story. >> jimmy: fried egg sandwiches or what? >> i just eat, really whatever. i mean that's -- i don't really -- >> jimmy: well, right now, before the show, you just ate a pizza. >> yeah, i had a couple of slices. >> oh, i thought you ate the whole pizza. >> no, i probably had like -- i don't know like four -- four slices. >> jimmy: what's your fav? your fav is pizza? why -- well, this is all just fake stuff, then? you don't eat for dinner a pound of pass -- >> no. >> jimmy: three fried sandwiches, two cups of coffee, five-egg omelet [ laughter ] a bowl of grits, three pieces of
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french toast? i'm like, "what's this guy's problem?" [ laughter ] chocolate chip pancakes? no, none of this. that's just stuff you like? >> i mean, some of it but not all in one sitting. >> jimmy: this is where it gets -- that's what i'm saying. there's no way he could burn all those calories. just from doing -- what's your favorite stroke? the butterfly? >> that's my best stroke. >> jimmy: that's the -- yeah. well, i mean, you're good at all of them. do you do the -- you don't think so? >> i don't know. >> jimmy: you do the -- is this the australian crawl? >> the breast stroke. >> jimmy: that's the breast stroke? >> the breast stroke. >> jimmy: that's my move. [ laughter ] that's what i do. i jump in the pool, i put on my trunks, i put on my suspenders, i dive in. [ laughter ] the breast stroke. breast stroke is this. just to make sure i'm doing it right. so i'm like this. [ light laughter ] and it's like -- it's like this. [ cheers and applause ] right there. like, that's the breast stroke. >> that's it. >> jimmy: that's my move. that's the best. i'm the best at that one. yeah, i don't do the -- the overhand thing where i have to breath? [ laughter ] that's like -- my head's always out of the water when i swim.
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if i don't swim competitively. but when you were a kid, it was just like -- your parents threw you in the pool and you were like -- and you just started just kicking kids' butts. and just doing everything. did you ever do that stroke that i just did? >> the breast stroke? >> jimmy: yeah. >> yeah, of course. >> jimmy: of course. and you do -- of course. yeah, you do it all the time. >> we always have to do it. >> jimmy: it's fun. all cool people do it. >> yeah, everyone's doing it. come on, man. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. >> freestyle? >> jimmy: freestyle. that was like a tough one. >> no, that's the easiest one. >> jimmy: that's the easiest one? >> easiest one. >> jimmy: it can't be easier than what i just did. [ laughter ] like, you kick your legs like a frog and go like this. >> yeah, but freestyle -- you can do anything in freestyle. you can do anything you want. except pulling on the lane line and pushing off the bottom. you can't do those. >> jimmy: now, how about this? now, i have a question. now, with technology, swim cap? they make them like, extra oily these days? or is it extra -- does that help you? it's an advantage, right? does hair come into play? >> i mean, we always have caps. >> you shave your chest? >> of course.
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>> jimmy: yeah. >> well, i -- for big meets, yes. >> jimmy: because it slows you down? >> yes. >> jimmy: wow. here's a good gag. >> oh gosh. >> jimmy: you come out with a crazy moustache. [ laughter ] chest hair flying out. medallions. eating a pizza. you go, "hey, i'm ready for london, you guys, let's do this!" that's all you do. [ cheers and applause ] should be legendary. it would be legendary. 'cause you got london. london's coming up -- it's this summer. >> five months, yeah. >> jimmy: and, i mean -- there's a lot of the pressure, right? don't you feel? >> well, i think i'm probably more relaxed now, than i really ever have been. >> jimmy: is that right? i mean, you're gonna bring home some more gold for us. i know that you're -- >> i hope so. i hope so. >> jimmy: and it's on nbc. >> hope to see you over there. >> jimmy: that's what i was going to say, i'm gonna meet you over there. i'm be -- i'll be the hairiest dude in the audience. [ light laughter ] my suspenders, chest hair, medallions. "hey, michael!" you'll be ignoring me. you'll be like, "uh." but what do you put -- you put on the swim cap, you've got the goggles. you don't do the nose thing, of course. >> no, no. >> jimmy: no, no, no. >> no, no, no. >> jimmy: you know -- learn how
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to do that. but that's -- and then -- and then, speedos. >> speedos. always speedos. >> jimmy: always speedos. >> yep. >> jimmy: yeah. and that's the way it's always been. because it's just aerodynamics. >> that's what you should do in london. >> jimmy: no, no definitely not. >> you should put on a speedo. >> jimmy: absolutely not. no, no, no, that's not going to happen at all. but you're on the -- your team, you've got some good up and comers. who should we be looking out for? who's the next michael phelps? >> it's funny. this, uh, every year we do, like, kind of like, rookie skits. and, uh, we did some this year and missy franklin is huge up and comer. she's very outgoing, extremely versatile. and she, i think is going to be someone to watch out for. so it's cool seeing her sort of grow up and come into the sport. and to see how excited she is. >> jimmy: missy franklin? >> she's good, she's like 15, from -- i think she's from colorado. >> jimmy: oh, very cool. i will look out for her. i want to talk about "push the limits." now, this game -- i've got to be honest. i played it once this afternoon. it's your game for xbox. >> you're not hustling me, are you? >> jimmy: maybe. >> you want to race?
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[ light laughter ] >> well, here's what i'm thinking. yeah. i think we go to commercial, we come back. i want to show people -- 'cause it's using the xbox kinect. i can't do this, though. >> okay. >> jimmy: so, i've got to go freestyle. >> yeah, we've got to go freestyle. >> jimmy: you want to freestyle battle me? >> freestyle, lets go. >> jimmy: lets go. when we come back, michael phelps and i are going to freestyle on the video game "push the limit" on xbox 360. see you after the break! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪
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untamed fruit flavor. jolly rancher. [ female announcer ] start the day off right with a protein-packed breakfast like the sunrise subway melt. try it with juicy tomatoes for a breakfast that stands out from the pack. subway, the official training restaurant of apolo ohno and athletes everywhere. take toast. spread with i can't believe it's not butter! add jacques. he's french. oui. ♪ oui like. [ male announcer ] fresh butter taste with 70% less saturated fat than butter. [ kim ] you can have it all.
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and i owe my great hair to head & shoulders. it gives me a healthy scalp and great looking hair. you making fun of me? no. you making fun of me? yes. [ male announcer ] head & shoulders. 7 benefits. 1 bottle. now with stayfree you don't have to worry. inspired by athletic wear, only stayfree has thermocontrol to wick away moisture. so you're dry and comfortable up to 8 hours. stayfree.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back to "late night." i am here with swimming legend michael phelps who has a new game for the x-box 360 connect called "push the limits." this game was super fun, i was playing in my office. i did this twice just to learn how to do it and i was sweating my face off. it was unbelievable. because the connect uses a camera under your tv screen and it just -- and you have to move your arms and swim. so it's crazy. >> so you were practicing today, you're going to hustle me, aren't you? >> jimmy: no, i wasn't practice -- i played it twice. i just don't normally my sports video games like that. >> i've seen you with some games that you've played with people. >> jimmy: i might have taken down tiger woods, big deal. [ laughter ] you know what i'm talking about, tiger. [ scattered cheers ] yeah. but this one, this one i don't think i have a chance in this one. were you involved a lot with did one? >> it was cool for me. you know, like being -- well, i play all sports games. >> jimmy: which ones?
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>> i play fifa, tiger, madden. and being able to like have everything so realistic, i think is something that i really wanted in the game. the graphics, the sort of venues, the strokes, everything is completely realistic. and you have to tie everything together. you have to have a good start, a good finish, a good turn, so it's everything. and you can't overdo yourself the first 50, either. there's a lot to do. >> jimmy: let's do this, come on. [ laughter ] this is silly talk. this is silly talk. [ cheers and applause ] all right, here we go. there's me. we're both equally hairless. all right -- [ laughter ] i bend and get ready to go. this is fun, man. okay. [ starting pistol shot ] oh! got to go! here we go! >> don't beat me. [ cheers and applause ] you got to kick. >> jimmy: what am i doing? >> you got to kick. >> jimmy: what do you mean i got to kick? you liar, i don't have to kick. [ cheers ] come on!
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oh, oh, oh! oh, you're going to kick! all right, come on. am i close? am i still far away? [ cheers ] oh! gosh, oh my gosh! >> my first win of the game, actually. >> jimmy: was it really? ♪ [ applause ] i'm so embarrassed. i've got to work on this. this is so embarrassing. one more thing, everybody. michael phelps brought a copy of this new game for everybody in the audience! [ cheers and applause ] i love this game -- i'll see you in london, buddy. i'm rooting for you. my thanks to michael phelps, his new game "push the limits" is now in stores. chavez performs after the break. stick around! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guests are a beloved new york band who have been playing shows together for the first time in a long time. all their recorded output is on the compilation "better days will haunt you." performing the song "laugh track," please welcome chavez! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ remain until the break put on your guided lasers pretend that ♪ ♪ we're impatient draw it all up and get it no way ♪ ♪ ♪ we're waiting in the basement rolling all our hopes in little balls ♪ ♪ titles aren't just aren't worth keeping he's shooting bolts and get it no way ♪
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♪ rolling up hopes and get it no way friends have all left you get it no way ♪ ♪ ♪ soon the laugh track engage us and let us feel its cool soon the laugh track ♪ ♪ might erase what the rented gods have wrought take your teeth back ♪ ♪ we aren't worth it can never chase
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now i'm headed for the plan of god ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ hand your tags
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and get it no way friends have all left you get it no way ♪ ♪ slaves to the jock girls get it no way put on your guided lasers ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: -- do it, brother. awesome. thanks, brother. chavez! [ cheers and applause ] nice job, guys, thank you. visit for an exclusive bonus performance. my thanks to alan cumming, michael phelps, chavez! [ cheers and applause ] and the greatest band in "late night," the roots, right there! [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for "carson daly." thanks for watching. have a great night, hope to see you tomorrow. buh-bye! [ cheers and applause ]


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